Cool but gross

I suffer hugely from allergies. Have since I was a kid. Never found anything that has worked. Been on multiple meds, and nada. Always suffer come this time of year, but worse in the fall. Have to sleep sitting up, and am usually so damn medicated I can barely function, and that's just to be able to open my eyes.

So, watching Dr. Oz on Oprah today, and at first I was grossed out, but I thought , "what the hell". He had this thing called a Neti, which is basically for a nasal enema. You use warm salt water and basically a seive type instrument to pour the water into your sinus cavity to clear it out. I did not have one of the nifty little bowls he used, but I created my own, using a kitchen funnel and a cup of water. You pour it in and it basically goes in one nostril and comes out the other. For a breif bit, it feels a little like drowning, but then, ah...so good. I stood up and emptied all the snot out of my nose (sorry, told you it was gross) and I...Could...Breathe! It got stuff out I could feel had been in there for perhaps years.

I have practiced yoga for about 5-6 years, and I have never hard of this. I knew I loved yoga for a really great reason. I highly recommend it for anyone who has sinus issues. Granted, it only worked for about an hour, but I have a cold, and my allergies, so having relief for even that short period of time was awesome.

34 Things

1.) Q. Can you cook?
A. I can and I do, but not every day.


2.) Q. What was your dream growing up?
A. To be a ballerina. Or do you mean after the age of four?


3.) Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. Coordination, of any kind.


4.) Q. Favorite place?
A. My house.


5.) Q. Favorite vegetable?
A. Tomatoes out of the garden and cucumbers.

6.) Q. What was the last book you read?
A. Running with Scissors.


7.) Q. What zodiac sign are you?
A. Libra


8.) Q. Any tattoo's or piercings?
A. Ears and belly button peircing, 2 tattoos.

9.) Q. Worst habbit?
A. Promise not to tell? I still suck my thumb at night to fall asleep.


10.) Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. No. I'm a cop's wife. He'd kill me!


11.) Q. What is your favorite sport?
A. Participant: running. Observer: baseball.


12.) Q. Negative or optimistic outlook?
A. Typically optomistic, just don't talk to me at work, cause you won't get the true picture then.

13.) Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me for hours and hours?
A. Talk, after the panic settled into a low grade anxiety.

14.) Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. Raped at 15.


15.) Q. Tell me one wierd fact about you?
A.


16.) Q. Do you have any pets?
A. Two dogs, a beagle and a chihuahua. And my husband, if we're counting those.


17.) Q. Do you know how to do the macarena, if so why?
A. Sadly yes. Learned it in college when it was the hip dance. I'm feeling quite ancient.

18.) Q. What time is it where you are now?
A. 7:24p.


19.) Q. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. Creepiest things ever, which is bizarre when you consider i have two good friends who are clowns.

20.) Q. If you could change one thing about how you look what would it be?
A. Lose about 25 pounds.

21.) Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. Typically crime, as long as we weren't committing any felonies.

22.) Q. What color eyes do you have?
A. hazel

23.) Q. Ever been arrested?
A. No


24.) Q. Bottle or draft?
A. Either. Like both.

25.) Q. If you won $100,000.00 today what would you do with it?
A. Pay off all our bills and quit my job.

26.) Q. What is your favorite drink?
A. Water.


27.) Q. Where's your favorite place to hang out besides your house?
A. The Y.

27.) Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
A. Kind of. Don't give it too much thought.


28.) Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. be with my family or read.

29.) Q. Biggest pet Peeve?
A. People who aren't genuine.

30.) Q. Do you swear a lot?
A. hell. i would dream of doing that!

31.) Q. In one word how would you describe yourself?
A. Survivor.

32.) Q. What's your favorite color?
A. Green.

33.) Q. Do you go to church?
A. Not unless I have to.

34.) Q. Will you reply to this message so that I can do the same for you?
A. Yes

Should I stay or should I go?

My supervisor told me today that the 'big boss' is likely going to be pushing me soon to accept a full-time posotion. I currently work 20 hours a week, and it works very well for me and my family. Plus, I don't really love my job. There are some parts I can't stand (one doctor in particular who shall remain nameless...) but I do love my clients. Most social workers can't claim that. Overall, it's a good job.

They are not forcing me yet, but I am afraid that might happen soon. It has been this way for basically the two years I have worked this schedule, and my job has never been stable (it's non-profit, grant-funded) in the 5 1/2 years I've been there.

I am not sure what to do. We could surely use the money, but I am not sure that the money is worth losing the experience I am getting with my son. Plus, we are considering having another child soon, and if that happens, I will NOT work full-time. I do not want to be in the position to have to re-negotioate my job all over again.

I would go somewhere else, but my schedule is pretty consitricted due to having to work around my husband's. And if I go full-time, it means we'll need to find a day care provider I trust - and I don't even really trust our parents, who are the only ones who have ever watched our child.

I had some extremely bad experiences in day care when I was a child and I will not let that happen to my son. I know there are trustworthy people out there, but will I ever be able to trust anyone?

And can they legally force me to choose, when I have a contract stating my position is part-time? I even agreed when I signed it that should I want to return full-time, that they would not be obligated to give it to me.

I am so torn.

My options:
-Return to full-time, in order to keep my job, and put my child in day care. My husband wouldn't necessarily be able to change his schedule, so this would also mean NEVER seeing him.
-Stay as long as possible with my current schedule and risk losing it one day because they decide they can't continue to keep me at part-time. (Plus, this way I face excessive scrutiny because they are looking for any reason to fire me. Right now, since they can do nothing based on my stellar job performance, they are picking apart my unplanned absences. I was out twice, for two days a piece because I was sick. Really sick. And I work with immuno-comprimised people who can't afford to get sick. They are counting that as four days against me, not as two seperate instances, even though every other day I have taken off - four days - have been scheduled. Plus, this is all accrued PTO, so it's time I have to take.)
-Get the hell out of there and find full-time employment elsewhere (I've looked, there are no part-time jobs in this area, in my field) - where most likely I'll deal with a whole other load of crap... Plus have to leave clients I love and co-workers who are awesome (Jenn!)

I feel so stuck! Help!?!

Toys R' Us is not my friend.

Ryan did a wonderful and amazing thing yesterday. He finally got out of his crib. According to my husband he was less than thrilled with the consequences - he cried hysterically for about a half hour (Ryan, not my husband...). So we decided it was time to convert him to a toddler bed to prevent any major head injuries and traumatic events.

So Mark pulls out the toddler bed conversion set we got when we got our crib from Babies R Us. Doesn't it figure, they gave us the wrong part. It's about two inches too long and doesn't fit the crib. The manager of the store told us two years ago, and we asked because we thought it might be a problem, what they would do if we put it together two years from then and found out the parts were wrong. "Oh, we'll fix it, just bring it back." Yeah, right! Guess what, their no assistance to a consumer rule holds true two years after a $600 sale too. Imagine that!

So, we either leave it as a day bed and risk him falling out, leave it as a crib and risk him falling out, or I buy one of those bed side thingies (can't remember what they are called, can anyone help?) from some store other than Babies/Toys R Us. If/when we have another child, I am spending more money and buying everything we need directly from the manufacturer.


P.S. - Really am not usually grumpy! This has just been what's been going on and venting to other like minded people realllly helps.

Why do they do that?

My husband called me from the hospital saying he was in a fight at work (he's a Sheriff's Deputy, so it's not as bizarre or random as you might think), that he was fine and that he'd tell me later what happened. I thought, 'okay, he's talking to me, so he must be okay.' Fast forward three hours. He calls me to tell me he's on his way home and that "it's worse than it looks." WTF!?! He also said he's out of work "for a while." He has to go in tomorrow and write and incident report and give a deposition (again, not out of the ordinary), but he might not be working for a while. Again, he won't tell me what happened. He's not home for ten minutes and I'm freaking out. I've always hated his job and fear for his safety, but this takes the cake. Damn him. Tell me everything or don't tell me anything at all!

Next day: After he came home and I saw his face, I do not agree that it was "nothing." He was seriously assualted, and he was lucky he wasn't hurt more than he was, or even killed. He got sucker punched in his right eye, and then the guy got him into a choke hold - apparently a good one as I overheard him telling his best friend about it this morning on the phone. He tends to leave out pertinent details for me. Another deputy eventually caught on and came to help, thank God. But it wasn't soon enough for my comfort. So, long story somewhat shortened, he's got a black eye, which he'll need to get x-ray'ed to make sure his eye socket isn't broken, in about a week (oh, and if he starts noticing clear liquid leaking out his nose he needs to get to the emergency room immediately as it may be leaking cerebral fluid - FUN!). He had x-rays on his foot to make sure bones in his foot weren't crushed (he's not sure how this part happened). He's covered in bruises, and his hands are a mess (from returning punches, without his gloves, to get the guy on the ground). He has to get his eyes checked out because he took a pretty good dose of ASR (police grade pepper spray) into his eyes. This morning, his left eye started blackening too, so when they do the x-ray of his eye socket, they'll likely have to also check his jaw and nose. Basically, he got really lucky.

I am still not completely recovered from the shock and was shaking a large part of last night and early this morning. I'm glad he's not going back to work for a while, because I don't think I could let him out the door. I am only nominally appeased by the fact that the guy was charged with Assault 2, a violent felony in NYS.

I have not really sorted this all out in my head yet, but since I only really cried when he walked in the door, I am sure the full impact hasn't hit me yet. I am normally a really big crier (hey, I deal with my emotions...). Every time I look at his face I am just filled with... I don't know really, dread, fear, anger, sadness. I can't even label anything else yet.