If...

If I had to be an actress I'd be Kate Winslet.
If I had to be a talk show host I'd be Sally Jesse Raphael. Love the glasses.
If I had to be an entertainer I'd be an exotic dancer.
If I had to move out of this country I'd move to Ireland.
If I had to date a thug, I'd date, uh, I have no clue.
If I had to eat just one food forever I'd eat Guacamole.
If I had to be (taller/shorter) I'd be same as I am now, 5'8".
If I had to be a singer I'd be Damien Rice.
If I had to marry an actor, I'd marry Christian Bale.
If I had to be a flower, I'd be a tulip.
If I had to be a drink I'd be a vodka on the rocks. (Or better yet, right now, I'd be Nyquil)

Three Things

3 Jobs I've Had
Community Integration Counselor (for people with traumatic brain injury)
Medical Social worker in and HIV clinic
Crisis Intervention Specialist (for suicidal kids)

3 Places I've Lived
Boston, MA
Ithaca, NY
Ann Arbor, MI

3 TV Shows I Like
Grey's Anatomy
Brothers and Sisters
Lost

3 Places I've Vacationed
Vieques, Puerto Rico
Martha's Vineyard, MA (Got married there too)
Toronto, CA

3 Of My Favorite Foods
Indian
Starbuck's Lattes (yes, they are a food to me)
Pasta

3 Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
Boston, MA
Richardson, TX
Somewhere WARM!

My husband is a dork

My husband ran a marathon on Sunday. Yes, I'm very proud. However, today he wanted me to take a picture of him in his running gear in order to get points for free stuff for Team Gu (don't ask). In our neighborhood. No where near the race trail. It took about 6 tries to get one that was useable, mostly because I was laughing so damn hard, hoping the neighbors got a good view. I was laughing so hard. Hysterically. I really needed a good laugh.

(Note: pic not attached, but some of you remember it well...)

Survey

1. What time did you get up this morning? 9am

2. Diamonds or pearls? Both

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Crap, can't remember.

4. What is your favorite TV show? Grey's Anatomy

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? English muffin with peanut butter or cereal

6. What is your middle name? Henley

7. What food do you dislike? Chinese, unless it's 'real' Chinese

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Katie Melua

9. What kind of car do you drive? Honda Civic

10. Favorite sandwich? Cheese - don't eat meat.

11. What characteristic do you despise? Hate

12. Favorite item of clothing? Tank top and running shorts.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Ireland

14. What color is your bathroom? White and needs to be changed pink

15. Favorite brand of clothing? Ones that fit

16. Where would you retire to? Wherever my son is

17. What was your most memorable birthday? My 21st and my 30th, for very different reasons

18. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball, college football (Go Blue!) and extreme sporting events

19. What gets your attention about the opposite sex? Eyes, nice teeth, sense of humor

20. Which TV Show would you like to star in? None. Have no desire to be in TV.

21. What do you do on your personal time? MM, IM'ing, and reading

22. Favorite saying? Not so much

23. When is your birthday? October 4

24. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night owl

25. What is your shoe size? 8

26. Pets? 2 dogs

27. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? Nope

28. What did you want to be when you were little? An attorney or a ballerina

29. What are you today? A social worker

30. What is your favorite candy? Snickers or twizzlers

31. What is your favorite flower? Tulips

32. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? One's where I don't have to work

33. What church do you attend? I don't

34. What is your full name? Sorry, with latest security breeches, not sharing that.


35. What are you listening to right now? This and listening to music.

36. What was the last thing you ate? Spaghetti with garlic tomato sauce.

37. Do you wish on stars? Nope

38. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Cerulean Blue

39. How is the weather right now? Hot, but finally cooling down as the sun goes down

40. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My husband

41. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Sure do

42. Favorite soft drink? Water

43. Favorite restaurant? Right now there are two, and asian fusion place and a sushi place

44. Hair color? Brown with blond highlights that I can't wait to get rid of.

45. Siblings? 4 sisters

46. Favorite day of the year? Ryan's b-day

47. What was your favorite toy as a child? Cinda, my cabbage patch doll

48. Summer or winter? Summer

49. Hugs or kisses? Kisses, but I want both

50. chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla

51. Do you want your friends to email you back? Sure

52. When was the last time you cried? Couple days ago - think it was PMS

53. What is under your bed? Winter clothes

54. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Marcie

56. Favorite smell? Citrus, and my baby's head after a bath

55. What did you do last night? Up on-line til 4am

57. What are you afraid of? something happening to my son, and overflowing toilets

58. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Butter and a little bit of salt

59. How many keys on your key ring? 3, and my pass to the Y

60. How many years at your current job? Started 2 months ago, but my job before that was 6 years

61. Favorite days of the week? Saturday

62. How many towns have you lived in? 8, I think


63. Do you make friends easily? No, not in the real world. I have "trust issues"

64. How many people will you be sending this to? all of my friends

I quit my job!

Just wanted to let everyone know I did accept an offer from the job at Catholic Charities. It's providing counseling to people with traumatic brain injuries, but the best part is its a fairly flexible schedule and they are fully supportive of me working around my family obligations, and just made me feel extremely welcome. Something i have not been feeling at my current job lately.

I was terrified to make this decision, but, ultimately I know I need a change. I have not liked my job for some time, and it's not a great fit for me or my family. I love my clients, which is the hardest part about leaving, but the job just isn't fulfilling or challanging anymore, and I'm bored. This new job is something I have never done before, so hopefully I can learn a lot.

Update on work

Well, I have had two interviews, and got the one job, so far. The one is in the jail and it's per diem, which is honestly wonderful. Being able to work only when I want to will be great. This did not come too soon either, because I got word today from a mole in the administrative offices that they have decided to force me to go full-time, which is NOT happening. After many long discussions, my husband and I decided we are not willing to give up the situation we have with our son now (no day care) to work full-time at a job I don't love or feel appreciated at. Knowing I have a back-up plan leaves my nerves a little soothed and not feeling so desperate. Even if they tell me I'm gone tomorrow, which I don't think will happen, but who knows, I can work at the jail and pick up as many hours as I can to make up the money I'll be missing. And the one girl I'll be doing some coverage for goes on maternity leave within two weeks, which buys me three months to search for a more permanent job. Mark's freaking out a little, but I actually feel relieved. I've been thinking I needed to leave here for a while, and this just lighted a fire under my butt. Now, hopefully, I can find somewhere where I will be respected and appreciated, and get fulfillment from the work. What a novel concept...

The latest work saga

I was told today (in passing, not a formal meeting or with the respect I deserve after five years of quality service) that they are making my position full-time. I would be offered it, but if I didn't take it, I am out. It's an at-will agency, which means they can let me go at anytime, without cause or provovation. My performance reviews have always been stellar, there are no complaints about my work - until recently when they started complaining about my use of unplanned PTO when either myself or my son was sick. I have two days left until July 1st, but they are still complaining. My clients have adjusted very well to my decreased schedule (it's been two years, this isn't new) but my co-workers and supervisors have not. Forget that I do more in 5 hours a day that most do in 8, and that I bring in staff for free (I am the only one capable of supervising social work students, who provide many hours of free labor). I don't spend a ton of time socializing, and since my family is so important to me, I do everything I need to in a crunch, just to make sure I can leave re-assured that my clients will be taken care of in my absence every day.

Today was the final straw. I will not put my family behind a job. No job is worth losing time with my family. As it is I barely ever see my husband. My company has proven to not be supportive of families or flexible with me, while continually demanding I be more flexible with them. So, I decided today that I need to leave. As soon as possible.

Now, if anyone knows of a flexible environment, willing to offer part-time work (or full-time with some work at home), that is somewhat even related to social work, in the Rochester, NY area, please let me know. Due to my being distracted (in a very good way) by making my family a priority, I have let a lot of my local connections fall to the wayside.

I am terrified of change, but know that now is the time. Wish me luck!

Cool but gross

I suffer hugely from allergies. Have since I was a kid. Never found anything that has worked. Been on multiple meds, and nada. Always suffer come this time of year, but worse in the fall. Have to sleep sitting up, and am usually so damn medicated I can barely function, and that's just to be able to open my eyes.

So, watching Dr. Oz on Oprah today, and at first I was grossed out, but I thought , "what the hell". He had this thing called a Neti, which is basically for a nasal enema. You use warm salt water and basically a seive type instrument to pour the water into your sinus cavity to clear it out. I did not have one of the nifty little bowls he used, but I created my own, using a kitchen funnel and a cup of water. You pour it in and it basically goes in one nostril and comes out the other. For a breif bit, it feels a little like drowning, but then, ah...so good. I stood up and emptied all the snot out of my nose (sorry, told you it was gross) and I...Could...Breathe! It got stuff out I could feel had been in there for perhaps years.

I have practiced yoga for about 5-6 years, and I have never hard of this. I knew I loved yoga for a really great reason. I highly recommend it for anyone who has sinus issues. Granted, it only worked for about an hour, but I have a cold, and my allergies, so having relief for even that short period of time was awesome.

34 Things

1.) Q. Can you cook?
A. I can and I do, but not every day.


2.) Q. What was your dream growing up?
A. To be a ballerina. Or do you mean after the age of four?


3.) Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. Coordination, of any kind.


4.) Q. Favorite place?
A. My house.


5.) Q. Favorite vegetable?
A. Tomatoes out of the garden and cucumbers.

6.) Q. What was the last book you read?
A. Running with Scissors.


7.) Q. What zodiac sign are you?
A. Libra


8.) Q. Any tattoo's or piercings?
A. Ears and belly button peircing, 2 tattoos.

9.) Q. Worst habbit?
A. Promise not to tell? I still suck my thumb at night to fall asleep.


10.) Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. No. I'm a cop's wife. He'd kill me!


11.) Q. What is your favorite sport?
A. Participant: running. Observer: baseball.


12.) Q. Negative or optimistic outlook?
A. Typically optomistic, just don't talk to me at work, cause you won't get the true picture then.

13.) Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me for hours and hours?
A. Talk, after the panic settled into a low grade anxiety.

14.) Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. Raped at 15.


15.) Q. Tell me one wierd fact about you?
A.


16.) Q. Do you have any pets?
A. Two dogs, a beagle and a chihuahua. And my husband, if we're counting those.


17.) Q. Do you know how to do the macarena, if so why?
A. Sadly yes. Learned it in college when it was the hip dance. I'm feeling quite ancient.

18.) Q. What time is it where you are now?
A. 7:24p.


19.) Q. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. Creepiest things ever, which is bizarre when you consider i have two good friends who are clowns.

20.) Q. If you could change one thing about how you look what would it be?
A. Lose about 25 pounds.

21.) Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. Typically crime, as long as we weren't committing any felonies.

22.) Q. What color eyes do you have?
A. hazel

23.) Q. Ever been arrested?
A. No


24.) Q. Bottle or draft?
A. Either. Like both.

25.) Q. If you won $100,000.00 today what would you do with it?
A. Pay off all our bills and quit my job.

26.) Q. What is your favorite drink?
A. Water.


27.) Q. Where's your favorite place to hang out besides your house?
A. The Y.

27.) Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
A. Kind of. Don't give it too much thought.


28.) Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. be with my family or read.

29.) Q. Biggest pet Peeve?
A. People who aren't genuine.

30.) Q. Do you swear a lot?
A. hell. i would dream of doing that!

31.) Q. In one word how would you describe yourself?
A. Survivor.

32.) Q. What's your favorite color?
A. Green.

33.) Q. Do you go to church?
A. Not unless I have to.

34.) Q. Will you reply to this message so that I can do the same for you?
A. Yes

Should I stay or should I go?

My supervisor told me today that the 'big boss' is likely going to be pushing me soon to accept a full-time posotion. I currently work 20 hours a week, and it works very well for me and my family. Plus, I don't really love my job. There are some parts I can't stand (one doctor in particular who shall remain nameless...) but I do love my clients. Most social workers can't claim that. Overall, it's a good job.

They are not forcing me yet, but I am afraid that might happen soon. It has been this way for basically the two years I have worked this schedule, and my job has never been stable (it's non-profit, grant-funded) in the 5 1/2 years I've been there.

I am not sure what to do. We could surely use the money, but I am not sure that the money is worth losing the experience I am getting with my son. Plus, we are considering having another child soon, and if that happens, I will NOT work full-time. I do not want to be in the position to have to re-negotioate my job all over again.

I would go somewhere else, but my schedule is pretty consitricted due to having to work around my husband's. And if I go full-time, it means we'll need to find a day care provider I trust - and I don't even really trust our parents, who are the only ones who have ever watched our child.

I had some extremely bad experiences in day care when I was a child and I will not let that happen to my son. I know there are trustworthy people out there, but will I ever be able to trust anyone?

And can they legally force me to choose, when I have a contract stating my position is part-time? I even agreed when I signed it that should I want to return full-time, that they would not be obligated to give it to me.

I am so torn.

My options:
-Return to full-time, in order to keep my job, and put my child in day care. My husband wouldn't necessarily be able to change his schedule, so this would also mean NEVER seeing him.
-Stay as long as possible with my current schedule and risk losing it one day because they decide they can't continue to keep me at part-time. (Plus, this way I face excessive scrutiny because they are looking for any reason to fire me. Right now, since they can do nothing based on my stellar job performance, they are picking apart my unplanned absences. I was out twice, for two days a piece because I was sick. Really sick. And I work with immuno-comprimised people who can't afford to get sick. They are counting that as four days against me, not as two seperate instances, even though every other day I have taken off - four days - have been scheduled. Plus, this is all accrued PTO, so it's time I have to take.)
-Get the hell out of there and find full-time employment elsewhere (I've looked, there are no part-time jobs in this area, in my field) - where most likely I'll deal with a whole other load of crap... Plus have to leave clients I love and co-workers who are awesome (Jenn!)

I feel so stuck! Help!?!

Toys R' Us is not my friend.

Ryan did a wonderful and amazing thing yesterday. He finally got out of his crib. According to my husband he was less than thrilled with the consequences - he cried hysterically for about a half hour (Ryan, not my husband...). So we decided it was time to convert him to a toddler bed to prevent any major head injuries and traumatic events.

So Mark pulls out the toddler bed conversion set we got when we got our crib from Babies R Us. Doesn't it figure, they gave us the wrong part. It's about two inches too long and doesn't fit the crib. The manager of the store told us two years ago, and we asked because we thought it might be a problem, what they would do if we put it together two years from then and found out the parts were wrong. "Oh, we'll fix it, just bring it back." Yeah, right! Guess what, their no assistance to a consumer rule holds true two years after a $600 sale too. Imagine that!

So, we either leave it as a day bed and risk him falling out, leave it as a crib and risk him falling out, or I buy one of those bed side thingies (can't remember what they are called, can anyone help?) from some store other than Babies/Toys R Us. If/when we have another child, I am spending more money and buying everything we need directly from the manufacturer.


P.S. - Really am not usually grumpy! This has just been what's been going on and venting to other like minded people realllly helps.

Why do they do that?

My husband called me from the hospital saying he was in a fight at work (he's a Sheriff's Deputy, so it's not as bizarre or random as you might think), that he was fine and that he'd tell me later what happened. I thought, 'okay, he's talking to me, so he must be okay.' Fast forward three hours. He calls me to tell me he's on his way home and that "it's worse than it looks." WTF!?! He also said he's out of work "for a while." He has to go in tomorrow and write and incident report and give a deposition (again, not out of the ordinary), but he might not be working for a while. Again, he won't tell me what happened. He's not home for ten minutes and I'm freaking out. I've always hated his job and fear for his safety, but this takes the cake. Damn him. Tell me everything or don't tell me anything at all!

Next day: After he came home and I saw his face, I do not agree that it was "nothing." He was seriously assualted, and he was lucky he wasn't hurt more than he was, or even killed. He got sucker punched in his right eye, and then the guy got him into a choke hold - apparently a good one as I overheard him telling his best friend about it this morning on the phone. He tends to leave out pertinent details for me. Another deputy eventually caught on and came to help, thank God. But it wasn't soon enough for my comfort. So, long story somewhat shortened, he's got a black eye, which he'll need to get x-ray'ed to make sure his eye socket isn't broken, in about a week (oh, and if he starts noticing clear liquid leaking out his nose he needs to get to the emergency room immediately as it may be leaking cerebral fluid - FUN!). He had x-rays on his foot to make sure bones in his foot weren't crushed (he's not sure how this part happened). He's covered in bruises, and his hands are a mess (from returning punches, without his gloves, to get the guy on the ground). He has to get his eyes checked out because he took a pretty good dose of ASR (police grade pepper spray) into his eyes. This morning, his left eye started blackening too, so when they do the x-ray of his eye socket, they'll likely have to also check his jaw and nose. Basically, he got really lucky.

I am still not completely recovered from the shock and was shaking a large part of last night and early this morning. I'm glad he's not going back to work for a while, because I don't think I could let him out the door. I am only nominally appeased by the fact that the guy was charged with Assault 2, a violent felony in NYS.

I have not really sorted this all out in my head yet, but since I only really cried when he walked in the door, I am sure the full impact hasn't hit me yet. I am normally a really big crier (hey, I deal with my emotions...). Every time I look at his face I am just filled with... I don't know really, dread, fear, anger, sadness. I can't even label anything else yet.

I'm boycotting Toys R' Us

I am normally not a negative person, and wouldn't want anyone to get that opinion, but I hate Toys R Us. My son's birthday was last week, and since our closest Toys R Us is a 1/2 hour away, we bought all of his birthday and Christmas presents together. When we opened his toys for his birthday party, we discovered that the legs of the easel we bought him were torn off, and nicely placed in the box. When I went to return it, at two different stores (yes, I drove another half hour to get to the next closest one), they refused to replace it since I had no receipt and had purchased it more than 90 days ago - 93 days ago to be exact.

Besides the one store being completely rude to me and accusing me of stealing it, they made me call their corporate office, from my cell phone, in order to speak to someone more about what they could do for me, a.k.a. nothing! The original person I spoke to on the phone told me it was up to the stores discretion. I politely asked her to explain that to the store manager (the rude one) and she agreed, however, when she got off the phone with her, the corporate office person told me I'd need to produce a copy of my credit card statement. Do you keep yours, 'cause I don't? My husband is a police office who is insanely safety conscious and we keep no financial records that aren't manditory. The rude manager told me I should have read my receipt, because they changed their policy in July. Seven whole months ago. My bad!

The next corporate office person was no more helpful, but at least took my name and told me that they would have someone call me in 7-10 business days. I fully expect I'll receive no reply. I then went on line and checked and found sites completely devoted to others disgusted by their business practices. I also filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau and Consumer Affairs.

Although at this point I know I'm out the $50 bucks, I find it sad that they are willing to lose a customer (and anyone else I can convince) over something so trivial. I've spent over $2000 there in the last two years. Several hundred in the last three months. What would it have hurt to make me happy by replacing the toy?